#code brew reviews

[mosaickiwi]

For Two

Hello, content specifically catered to me. This might be the whole damn month.

Just an Angel that works at a BnB all alone with their stalker future spouse... :3c

💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤

You started your morning a little later than usual that Saturday, grateful for the extra half hour of sleep as you gathered ingredients. Only one pot of coffee to brew, one breakfast to make, one room to turnover while the guest went about their day touring the city.

You couldn't believe it. 

Normally, the weekend was completely booked. This one was too, except there'd been not just one, but six no-shows yesterday. Almost every single room at the inn was empty despite being fully paid for. 

Right at the usual check-in time, a single guest had shown up. Dressed in all black, a whole head taller than you, eyes that looked as tired as you felt from rushing around all day, and only a small duffel bag slung over one shoulder, they didn't look like the type of tourist you usually had this time of year. But who were you to judge?

The refreshments you set out didn't go to waste, though. He went back for seconds and thirds as you showed them to their room… then around the house… then around the garden while constantly on the lookout for other guests pulling up in their rental cars.

Oddly, he seemed more interested in you than the city. Rather than attractions on the pier or night life, the conversation flowed towards a few hobbies you found in common. Before you knew it, the sun had long since set, and no other soul had arrived for check-ins. You carried on with him a while longer, ending the night in a good mood despite the strange, once in a lifetime occurrence.

It felt like talking with an old friend. You wondered if the chat over breakfast would be just as nice.

The coffee machine loudly beeped, disturbing your current task. You stopped and poured it all into a thermos, then set it in the small woven carrier you'd prepared with a mug, creamers, sugars, and a pair of neatly wrapped shortbread cookies. You quietly took it up the stairs to your sole guest's room to set it at the door.

Just as you approached, the door opened with messy black hair and lightly flushed cheeks in greeting. He was the smallest bit shorter without the boots. No piercings in this early in the morning, but even his pajamas were all black. The tiny ghosts on his pants were cute. 

The man's blue eyes came to life at the sight of you and he smiled. "Mornin'," they spoke in that soft, raspy voice you'd gotten acquainted with yesterday.

"Beat me to it. Good morning, Ren." You smiled back with ease. "Did you sleep well?"

"Perfect, actually." They yawned, eyeing the basket in your hands as they stretched. "All that f'me before 7am.? Fuck, y'might really be an angel." He paused and rubbed at his lower lip. "Sorry."

You held the basket out to him. "I heard nothing. No worries," you said. It was hard to tell if he was apologizing for cursing or flirting. Was he flirting? 

He took the carrier, but still stood in the doorway, drumming his fingers on the sides as if thinking of what to say. "Soo… how d'you usually do these cute little coffee baskets for two people?"

"Two?" You hurriedly racked your brain. You were pretty sure his reservation was for one. He did have the door code already. Maybe he let his companion in late last night?

Did you need to make more coffee? Or tea? Did they have dietary restrictions you didn't know about for breakfast?! 

Shit, shit, shit. 

You never got to greet them and get their name and if they were still sleeping it'd be rude to wake them up just to ask and you couldn't expect a five star review anyways at this point but this—

"Ah, I meant…" The man interrupted your silent panic with a surprisingly nervous tone. He shifted slightly, fingers tapping even louder. "If ya wanted t'join me. I mean, I'm the only one here so I thought y'wouldn't be too busy with breakfast."

Ohh. He was flirting. Your job be damned. 

"Breakfast would have to be a little late… but if you don't mind, okay."

Ren smiled a lot brighter this time. "Great. I'll get changed and meet you downstairs in a few, yeah?"

You wanted to tell them there was no need to change with how adorable his PJs were, but kept it to yourself. You couldn't tease them like that yet. "Sure thing."

[aloesarchives]

Popular Boy (JJK One-Shot)

TW/Warnings: Fem Reader and She/Her pronouns, Angst with Fluff ending, Profanity, Smoking from Shoko and Suguru, Highkey Miscommunication Trope, Cheesy cliches, this one-shot being way too long than it's supposed to be, a little OOC Satoru and Suguru

Series: Jujutsu Kaisen

Pairing: Satoru Gojo x Fem! Reader

AU: Modern/High School AU!

Pronouns: She/Her(any gal could read this, but Reader is slightly coded to be introverted, good at drawing and crafts, and a nerd)

Word Count: 10.2k words

Summary: You weren't supposed to fall in love with your best friend Satoru Gojo. But you did anyway. It doesn't help that he is the most popular guy in your school.

(A/N): This is my longest one-shot to date. I went off the rails and wrote this out of this idea and brain dump I had. Un top of being sick, I didn't post for like 2 weeks because I was working on this and having little motivation. But I'm back!

[!!!Unedited and not proofread!!! 1/24/2024 4:27pm CST]

Having a crush on your best friend is the absolute worst. You promised yourself you wouldn’t. But after reviewing your symptoms, you concluded that you are, indeed, in love with your best friend, Satoru Gojo. It's too bad he’s the most popular guy in the school. Suguru is second to him but doesn’t bask in the attention like his friend does.

It all started when you became friends with them in your first year of high school. Shoko was in your class, and you two became best friends instantly. You’d usually eat alone somewhere during break or lunch because the cafeteria was always rowdy, making it overstimulating. One day, your usual spot was taken over. Though it bummed you out your little spot was discovered, it wasn’t yours in the first place, so you went on a search for a new one. After a few minutes of searching, you spotted Shoko smoking in a hidden spot behind the school. She hears you from how your feet crunch on the dirt and asks you to join her. Though you didn’t smoke, you stayed with her. After talking briefly, Shoko asked if you were free after school, taking a long drag out of her cigarette.

You never stayed too long after school, only for your respective clubs, but that’s it. You also had no friends, so maybe this is your chance to get closer to Shoko. Upon agreeing, she smiles before taking her last drag out and extinguishing her smoke in a nearby ashtray. As the two of you returned to class, she told you that her other two friends were coming. Hinting that they were quite the handful. Your expression lightens upon hearing the two new people joining your hangout with Shoko. Perhaps this could be what you needed to step outside of your comfort zone to have a social experience like everyone else your age.

 After getting off the train with Shoko, she pulled you along the busy crowd and met the two boys at the subway station entrance. You didn’t, however, expect Shoko’s mystery friends to be Satoru Gojo and Suguru Geto—the most well-known boys in the entire school and possibly the whole district. Shoko was making your introduction to them as you grew shy under their gaze. Nervous was an understatement; anxiety was brewing in you like rain clouds forming a storm. What if they scoff at you? Mock you? Purposely pick on you for fun? Each thought raced against each other across your mind that you didn’t notice Satoru placing his hand on your shoulder. It snapped you back to reality as you looked up to avoid being rude.

 You’ve heard the rumors and the hushed whispers from every corner of the school about how Satoru Gojo was among the most good-looking guys. How he had blue eyes that matched the sky and hair like snow. You only caught glimpses of him throughout the campus but never saw him up close. But now that you are, you can confirm it for yourself. To you, he looked more ethereal, if anything. His blue eyes were like the endless cerulean sky above, his white hair lightly tousled in the wind; he was beautiful to you.

“Hey, you don’t have to stiffen up around me. I don’t want you to go all shy on me (Y/N). Satoru Gojo, at your service~.”

Extend his hand to shake yours; you return the gesture, albeit clumsily. Satoru chuckles before he unexpectedly brings your hand to his lips. He kissed your fingers ever so gently, feather-like almost. Your body most certainly would have erupted in a blaze by his actions. But it didn’t; you were more caught off-guard. You wondered if he did this to every girl he came across. He just smiled afterward but gets bonked on the head by Suguru, who went to introduce himself to you.

“Satoru, you’re going to scare her off. Sorry (Y/N), he’s always like that. I’m Suguru Geto, and I hope you’re not uncomfortable because of him.”

You quickly dismissed it, trying to ease Suguru’s concerns. After hanging out with them, you knew you found people you would call friends. You never had that much fun until you hung out with them. Going to arcades, eating out together, and wandering the city of Tokyo filled you with non-replicable happiness. After that hangout, the rest was history. Since then, you have always hung out with Satoru, Suguru, and Shoko. You all stuck together like glue every time possible. You never guessed their popularity rubbed off as well. You became known on campus as a well-known upperclassman and now a senior. 

But you noticed you spent more time with Satoru than with Shoko or Suguru. You could credit it to his goofy, childish personality that matched your vibe even more. He loved discussing Digimon and was happy you shared the same interest. You two would indulge in each other’s interests and hobbies. It became more evident that both of you had grown closer from when Shoko adopted you into their group. Yet, you told yourself time and time again not to fall for Satoru. In fear of losing what you have with each other because you caught “feelings.” In addition, Satoru had many, many, MANY admirers—girls across the school, district, and the Tokyo Metropolitan area. Many come from prominent backgrounds, blessed with being gifted, or simply beautiful in every way. While you didn’t mean to self-sabotage yourself, you were beautiful and brilliant in your own right; you were being realistic. How could someone like Satoru Gojo, from a wealthy and prominent family for centuries, go for someone like you? It was wishful thinking at that point, but it was stretching itself thin even then.

Anyhow, this brings you to the present. It’s December 1st, six days before Satoru’s birthday. You were in your dorm, conjuring up what to get him. It was more complicated than because the man was loaded. He had the money to buy anything and everything he wanted. So what can you get for him that wasn’t already bought? After some time, you had the genius idea to make something for him. You decided on making a bracelet and a framed sketch of him from one of your sketchbooks you occasionally draw in.

While working on your gifts, you were on the receiving end of teasing from Suguru and Shoko, specifically from Suguru. I mean, he was the first one to catch on to your feelings for his friend. Shoko had her suspicions but never mentioned them in case she was delusional. But once Suguru brought it up, she instantly joined in the teasing. It was harmless fun, yet you couldn’t help but rethink your crush on Satoru. Your feelings for him shouldn’t exist, yet you can’t help it. You felt alive, but most of all, you felt comfortable and safe with Satoru. You never hid your lovely personality or felt ashamed of your interests. Satoru was always supportive and was a part of your shenanigans too. As cheesy as it was to admit, it felt like you’ve found your soulmate, your other half. You always relished your moments with Satoru, no matter how short or dumb they were. Sure, you loved your moments with the gang, but it hits differently when it’s only Satoru and you. It was as if your life changed when he came into it. 

During the day before Satoru’s birthday, Shoko and Suguru hunched over your desk as you finished the page you were doodling. The smears from the graphite and erased pencil markings showed the fine details to capture Satoru’s features. 

“Wow, those look exactly like him. If he were animated, he'd be drawn like this. May I, (Y/N)?” Suguru asked.

You nodded, and Suguru picked up the sketchbook to inspect the page further. Shoko peered over his shoulder to also get a look.

“I think Gojo would love this. Don’t you think so, Suguru?”

“I would think so too, Shoko. It’s a well-thought-out gift (Y/N). Satoru would love it.”

“Wait, (Y/N)! Show Suguru what else you made him!”

Suguru raises a brow at the brunette as you pull up a photo on your phone to show to Suguru. Suguru squinted his eyes a bit to see the picture a bit more clearly.

“You made that bracelet for Satoru? It’s pretty nice. Where’s our (Y/N)?”

“I have them back in my room, Suguru! I just. . . You know. . .”

“So you’re implying we’re not as special as your beloved Blue Eyes White Dragon?”

“SHOKO, you’re not helping!!! OfcourseImadeitmorespecialforhimbecausehereallylikesdigimonandhisbirthdayiscomingup–”

“(Y/N)! I was just joking! Geez, calm down before you pop a blood vessel.”

As you catch yourself from any further rambling, you are about to explain the bracelet to Suguru before Satoru slides the classroom door open. You think it’s him but can’t tell through the mountain of gifts and bags in his arms. But seeing a wisp of his white hair gave you all the more reason that it was Satoru. Satoru plops the pile on his desk as his arms cave in, some gifts falling off the edge and onto the floor. One fell near your desk, so you picked it up and placed it back on his desk.

“Is it Valentine’s Day? What’s with the gifts, Satoru?”

“*sighs* These are from numerous girls all over the school from varying grades. My birthday is tomorrow, so I guess I'll get the early gifts. Though, I don’t know how to return all this to my dorm. You guys wanna help me open them up back in my room?”

You all replied yes and helped Satoru with his pile of gifts. As you put on your sketchbook, you felt a breath tickle your ear.

“Hey, whatcha drawing, (Y/N)? Drawing (favorite Digimon/Pokemon) again? Let me see!”

You caught a whiff of his surprisingly minty, fresh breath. Usually, it comes in hot with the number of sweets he’s been eating, so this was a pleasant surprise to you.

“I’ll show you later when we open your gifts in your room, ‘Toru. You gotta be patient.”

You chided while swatting his all too-close face away from you. Little did you know, a sickly sweet smile flashed on his face upon hearing his nickname. Once the last bell rang, you four headed straight for Satoru’s dorm to open all the gifts he received from the day. Once dumping them into a pile, you each read the note attached to the gifts and opened them up. Some were cool, homemade gifts, others were basic and generic. Most were sweets or baked goods since he is widely known to have a sweet tooth. You all were open and chatty when Suguru grabbed a neatly wrapped velvet box.

“Hey, Satoru, isn’t this from your ex?”

“Which one?”

“Don’t know, let me see the tag. . . From Satomi. . .”

“Oh, her! Let me see, Suguru!”

You cringed hard hearing Satoru talk about his numerous “girlfriends.” As much as you didn’t want to say it, Satoru’s playboy attitude was your least favorite thing about him. All the girls he saw shared one common trait: they never stayed too long with him. Satoru would cycle through many girls every few weeks to maybe a month. He never bothered to introduce them into the friend group, let alone bring them to your shared hangouts. Now that you think about it, he never talks about them when you or the others are present. He never calls them his girlfriends or partners, just sugar-coated words and nicknames meant to sweeten a non-existent fruit that never grew in the first place. You wondered if he would treat you the same if you dated him. But you were thinking too deeply, FOCUS GIRL!!! It’s now or never. Well, not really, but you have the perfect chance to give Satoru his birthday gift! You can make it work for just the two of you! Find him by himself, steal him away to deliver your gift, and possibly confess. 

Satoru's birthday gifts from his fans dwindled to only small boxes and clear bags. Shoko and Suguru categorized his gifts as apparel, food, trinkets, etc., while Satoru plopped beside you. You were munching away at some candy, deciding to take a break from opening the cookie cutter-esk presents as your vision became spotty. It was silent for a moment, only the sounds of your other two friends' voices bickering about which pile a gift should go. Satoru shifts his attention towards you, mindlessly popping the candy into your mouth before dramatically yawning, spreading his limbs across his bed. His legs would stretch over your lap. You popped the last candy before throwing the empty bag at him.

“What’s wrong, Satoru? You've grown tired of your gifts or what?”

“That and feeling sore from sitting on the floor. . . Hey! Will you show me your drawing from earlier (Y/N)?”

“Uh. . . I dunno, Satoru–”

“Pleaseeeeeeee?! I promise I won’t crease the pages like last time! Come on (Y/N)!”

Satoru juts out his lip and gives his puppy eyes with praying hands. You glance at Suguru and Shoko, who snickered at your little predicament. You sighed deeply and pulled out your sketchbook for him to see. He was giving you his full attention, asking questions, and complimenting the fine details of your latest creation. You two were smiling and giggling along as you turned the pages. However, you were getting nervous because you didn’t want Satoru to see his page. You hoped he got bored or distracted so you didn’t have to flip through more from your book. Suguru has a sixth sense because he called Satoru’s attention before you flipped to the next page, which would’ve been his. 

“Okay, man, we sorted your gifts into these four separate piles, which one should be obvious. . . Look at the time; it’s almost curfew for the girls. I’ll walk them to their dorms, Satoru.”

Before Satoru could protest and tag along, Suguru snatched you and Shoko away and out of the dorm. Satoru stood up perplexed, before shrugging it off and storing his gifts away. Suguru dragged you two to the skywalk and looked dead into your eyes, startling you from his sudden closeness.

“You have to do it tomorrow, (Y/N).”

“Uh, do what, Suguru?”

Shoko and Suguru gave each other a face before looking back at you.

“You gotta confess to Satoru, (Y/N). Do it tomorrow when you give him your gift on his birthday. And before you ask, we knew about your feelings for him way before. It’s painfully obvious, (Y/N).”

Shoko just nods her head in agreement. You knew Suguru had a point; it’s now or never. But you didn’t want to make things awkward for Satoru, let alone pressure him to say yes because he feels terrible for rejecting. Overthinking started kicking into high gear, and you started thinking about every possible scenario Satoru could react to. None of them were of him reciprocating your feelings. Unfortunately, Suguru had to say the dread words no one wants to hear when trying to confess to their crush.

“The worst thing he could say is no, (Y/N).”

Shoko elbows him while you wince at his words. You knew he meant to comfort you, but it didn’t help ease your nerves. Suguru, observant as ever, picked up on it, and from Shoko’s reaction, he knew his words were a miss.

“If it makes you feel any better, I’ll come with you for support, so it won’t be as stressful going alone.”

Suguru gives you a comforting smile, and you give on in return. Shoko said she couldn’t come because she volunteered to tutor some underclassmen for some Visa gift cards. So she says good luck to you before walking across the skyway and into the building of the girls' dormitory. You gained some confidence and bid Suguru goodnight to finalize your gifts. You framed Satoru’s page in a sleek dark blue frame and knotted Satoru’s bracelet. The marble beads of the bracelet were white, cerulean blue, and black. Complementing each with a small interchange charm in the middle where an Agumon charm dangled freely. You wrapped up both gifts and placed them in a mildly used paper bag you had from when you went shopping.

As the next day rolled in, you were surprisingly giddy to give your gift. You just had to catch Satoru alone and give yourself a good ten minutes to slip in your confession. The problem was you hadn’t seen Satoru at all. Sure, today was a half-day, but Satoru was barely in class. When he was, though, he was flooded by many girls telling him happy birthday or giving more gifts. Since it was a Friday, Satoru didn’t do much after school and would wander Tokyo for the remainder of the day. You knew you were losing time, so doing it right after school was best.

Once the last bell rang, you packed your bag and held your present tightly to find Satoru. However, he was gone from his seat when you looked at his desk. While you tried to find him, Suguru texted you. He said he saw Satoru go behind the school. He also said he would wait for you at the front gate to hear about your results. As you go to the back, you are smiling so hard that it would make your teeth rot. But as you got closer, your sweet smile instantly dropped when you heard a girl’s voice and another voice you made out to be Satoru’s. Your heartbeat repeatedly drummed in your ears as you hid yourself to not be noticed. Trying to even out your breath, you slowly peek your head in a slow, agonizing manner to get a better look. Unfortunately, your curiosity kills your heart as it confirms your worst fear.

Satoru stood smiling, and another girl giggled like a classic school girl in a high-school rom-com movie. You recognized her as she was in the same grade but from a different class. You’ve seen her around but never been a part of Satoru’s unofficial fan club. Yet you could never have guessed she liked him too. You knew you should look away, already seeing what was needed. But the naive sliver of hope forced you to continue watching, hoping it was a delusion your mind conjured up. Although you couldn’t hear what they were saying, you knew the other girl beat you to him as she held Satoru’s hand and smiled up at him. Satoru places a hand on her cheek and probably says something you can make out ‘I love you' before dipping his head to meet hers. A chill washes over your body as your grip on Satoru’s present stiffens, further crimping the paper bag. Shakily, you pulled out your phone and took a picture before turning on your heels and going anywhere but here.

Suguru was ever so patiently waiting on the outcome. He was blissfully smiling. Hoping all is going well and in your favor. He was distracted by his phone when he recognized the sound of your footsteps. He pockets it as he sees your figure walk towards the gates. He cheerfully called out for you but was met with silence. When you walked past him, your head hung low; Suguru knew something was wrong. Concerned, he quickly went after you while calling for you. When nothing works, he steps in front of you to hold your shoulders still to prevent any more movement. Shaking your shoulders, he firmly asks what’s wrong.

A wretched look contorted on his face when he saw your face. Your eyes are shiny from glossy tears on the verge of overflowing from the edges. Lips in a tight quiver, trying to not let a sob escape from within the depths of your hurt soul. You were trying your best to stay together, but Suguru saw you were hanging on by a thread. He gives you a comforting, tight hug as you begin to cry into him. Letting it all out and providing comforting pats on your back. As you start to calm down, Suguru gently takes you to a nearby cafe where some of your group hangouts and study sessions happen. Considering your current state, he keeps you from paying for your drink. Once he got them and sat down, you told him what you saw that caused this. Suguru chokes on his drink in disbelief upon hearing about Satoru’s doings.

“He what?! Are you sure, (Y/N)?”

You nodded as you pulled up the picture on your phone to show Suguru. His eyes widen even further as he stares at the picture. Returning back your phone, he takes a big sip of his drink.

“So, what are you going with your gift then, (Y/N)? Are you still going to give it to Satoru?”

“I... I. . . Don’t know, Suguru. . . I did make it for him, but I don’t think he’ll care.”

“What makes you think he wouldn’t, (Y/N)?”

“You know what I mean, Suguru. Satoru doesn’t really hold onto any gifts he gets. Unless it’s sweets or something he thinks is cool, he’ll donate, give, or throw it away. My present would collect dust in his room and be forgotten. We literally sorted out his fan mail yesterday.”

You glance over at your initial present for Satoru. The bag has deep creases and wrinkles from death gripping it in your disassociated state. You delicately bring it to your lap, blankly staring at the two dedicated gifts inside. Sighing in defeat, you slowly fold the top of the bag before setting it back in its previous place. You gave Suguru a tired smile, saying how wishful thinking blinded you from reality. Suguru couldn’t help but feel pity. It hurts him to see you like this and blame yourself for dreaming about something he knew would become a reality. But he was thrown in for a loop because he was sure his best friend was hopelessly in love with you. The glances, the consistency of bringing up your name, the extra care he gave when it came to you, IT WAS ALL RIGHT THERE! Was Satoru leading everyone on, you included? Suguru was going to get to the bottom of this. He escorts you back and asks Shoko to stay with you until nighttime. 

After filling Shoko in, you looked at the crippled bag sitting alone on the floor. Taunting, making a mockery of you, and constantly reminding you how you really let your feelings get out of hand to let you believe a fantasy. How foolish you are, little stupid fool you were, you think. Getting off your bed, you go over to the bane that reminds you of your naivete as a hopeless romantic. You were tempted to throw the whole bag away; consider burning it all.

Despite thinking of wiping the existence of those gifts from this world, you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. They were drawings of Satoru and a handmade bracelet with his favorite Digimon, and you were proud of how they turned out. The time and dedication you put into it really showed how much this man had a chokehold on your life no matter what. Crush, friend, it didn’t matter. He really changed your life; you would be forever grateful for that. Even if that meant you always stayed friends. It was a better fate than being strangers altogether. So you decide to store the bag in an empty drawer for miscellaneous items, not wanting to see it anymore. Shoko was surprised by your actions. Though she would understand you destroying them, she didn’t expect you to keep your gifts. You just shrugged, saying destroying it wouldn’t do you any good. No amount of satisfaction or fulfillment would come from it. Shoko just gives you a hug as you lean into it.

Ever since that day, you slowly stopped talking to Satoru. He didn’t notice it because you would make excuses or leave immediately before he could catch up. He thought you were busy with homework and school. It was brought to his attention when you wouldn’t hang out with him. Whenever he texted you to hang out, you would say you were busy or not feeling good. It got worse when you didn’t attend your group hangouts with Suguru and Shoko. It was always the four of you. Without you, it felt incomplete, and Satoru started to miss you and the vibe you brought. Even when he asked Suguru or Shoko where you were, they would give the same answer you did. And it was starting to frustrate him. Did he say or do something to distance yourself from him? Did he accidentally hurt without realizing it? Why did you suddenly not want to talk to him anymore? He sees you talking to your other friends and classmates without a care in the world. Your lovely lips always curled upwards, and how your cheeks and eyes molded to highlight your face, you were absolute divinity in his eyes. Had you always looked so beautiful to him? Yes, but he didn’t realize that until now since his only way of looking at you is from a distance. 

Every time he would try to make his way over to you, you gave a quick side glance in his direction before wrapping up any conversation and leaving. This honestly began to hurt Satoru. He had never dealt something like this with anyone else. Maybe when he had severe fights with Suguru, but they would make up in the end since he knew it was mostly his fault. But this is different because he was in the dark of your avoidance. It was like he was the bubonic plague, and you were straight-up social distancing yourself from him. It didn’t matter when or where; as soon as he entered within a 12-foot radius, you were going in the other direction. This had been going on for almost two weeks! It was now the 21st, the last school day before winter break. Nothing significant was happening today besides the classic winter break assembly. He needed to talk to you so you two could somehow talk it out and make it. It’s ironic how oblivious he was to the circumstances he was in. The roles are now reversed because now he’s pining after you like you had been for him for the past few years. You usually would sit with them during these events, but since you’re distancing, you opted to sit with your peers. When you did sit with them, you would be the furthest away from Satoru. 

Satoru should’ve been paying attention to the assembly. But his only focus was you, who was on the other side of the gymnasium. You were sitting on opposite bleachers with one of your underclassmen, Riko Amanai. Satoru wished he could teleport himself to you, pick you up, and go to a quiet place to talk. But he knew he had to be patient to make his move, something Suguru had to remind him constantly. Once the assembly was over, Satoru by-lined to where you were. However, the sea of students eager to leave school is challenging, even for the 6’3 boy. He saw glimpses of you with Riko as you pulled her along and weaved through the crowd out of the school. The resistance he met trying to reach you became so aggravating he was shoving anyone who got in his way. It got to the point where students made room for him to pass through, fearing the wrath of Satoru Gojo in a bad mood.

Alas, once he exited the school, you had already gone off campus to who knows where with Riko and Kuroi, her caretaker. Satoru tightened his fists, and his face bore a scowl as you slipped away again. He would have punched the school’s concrete fence if Suguru didn’t pop up in front of him. Satoru was slightly calmed when he saw his friend, but a twinge of unease settled in when he saw Suguru’s strained smile. To a regular person, it seemed like a genuine smile. But Satoru knew Suguru enough to know when he gave these smiles. This one meant he was in deep trouble. Suguru said he needed to talk to Satoru about something over a bucket of KFC with one of the Visa gift cards Shoko gave them. Satoru followed it, knowing there was more to Suguru’s unidentified mood. However, Suguru just stops in front of the KFC, idly standing with his back to him. Seeing his standoffish behavior, Satoru becomes confused and finally breaks their tense silence.

“Look, Suguru, I know this isn’t the best time. But we need to talk about (Y/N).”

“What is there to talk about her, Satoru?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, Suguru. You noticed how (Y/N) has barely been hanging out with us. Giving excuses to not hang out. I don’t understand why this happened so fast. Two weeks ago, (Y/N) was fine. She was laughing with us and being a part of our stupid antics. Then, after my birthday, she slowly stopped replying to my texts and avoided me altogether. Suguru, you got to know something. I don’t want to be left in the dark anymore. I need to know what I did to make her stop talking to me.”

Oh, Suguru knew the reason why you were doing this. You told him yourself. You admitted to Suguru you didn’t know how to act around Satoru anymore, in fear of spilling your confession and making a fool out of yourself. You knew how cowardly it was to do this. Not correctly communicating your emotions and actions to Satoru was self-sabotage, and your relationship with him would suffer severely. You tried to ride out your feelings to the best of your abilities. But you learned that those feelings for Satoru wouldn’t go away no matter what you did. So, you thought the best option was to slowly distance yourself from Satoru to heal your broken heart and save your dignity. Suguru was against this at first. But he let it slide since it was only Satoru and not him or Shoko.

What he didn’t let slide was how he saw his best friend paraded around his latest girlfriend. He knew that relationship wouldn’t last at all because there was one thing he knew about his best friend. Satoru Gojo is a lonely person. No amount of fan girls or guys dick-riding him would fill the void of loneliness Satoru faced in his life. He always was told that he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. He was talented and good at anything and everything he did. But with that, people only saw him from afar, never really caring to realize Satoru was like anyone else besides his wealth. Suguru knew you made Satoru feel seen and let him dwell on his antics so he could be a teen, not some high, mighty God people were willing to kiss his feet. Satoru fell in love with you but doesn’t want to admit it. Seemingly taken you for granted. Suguru doesn’t blame you for trying to lose feelings for him. He would, too, if the person he liked gave mixed signals and had a cycle through partners like daily outfits even though they heavily implied to their best friend they wanted you but never cared to tell.

You would have made the first move. But with many rejections, some harsher than others, you decide to wait for the other person to say something first or drop an obvious hint. You aren’t going to drive through a red light, only green ones. You often hear the phrase, ‘Girls who make the first move on a guy get the relationship.’ That is a blatant lie and bullshit because it only works if the guy doesn’t care, the girl asking is conventionally pretty, or the guy already liked or was interested in the girl. You experienced so much rejection that you might as well give up on telling your feelings so as not to be seen as pathetic. You thought it would be different for Satoru because of your powerful chemistry together. But he sent many mixed signals, being flirtatious and teasing you, genuinely looking out for you simultaneously, all the while still never giving a break to dating and having a long line of girlfriends at his beak and call. It was too complicated for you. Then, with the incident, you knew you had no chance with him because it seemed he would never feel the same.

“Do you like (Y/N), Satoru?”

Satoru gave his best friend a bewildered look, his face recoiling.

“Yeah, of course, I like (Y/N), Suguru. What kind of question is that—”

“That’s not what I’m asking you, Satoru. Do you love (Y/N)? Yes or No, simple as that.”

“What are you trying to get at, Suguru?”

Suguru visibly groans at the Satoru’s density. This was annoying Suguru at this point.

“Satoru, be honest with yourself. Admit it, you’re in love with (Y/N). How you look out for her, care for her, and constantly bring her up in conversations every chance you get, the longing gaze you give her when she isn’t looking, always staring at her instead of anyone else in the room. The list goes on and on, Satoru. Stop denying it. Do you love her, or are you just saying that because you want to joke about someone’s feelings?”

Satoru’s voice was caught in his throat; he had his answer, but his body wasn’t giving him a chance to say it. It was like Suguru hitting the nail every time, making Satoru feel cornered. Suguru sighed frustratedly at the silence of his best friend, who usually would have his answers ready in the queue.

“So you never really loved (Y/N) then, Satoru.”

“What! No! I do love (Y/N), Suguru—”

“Then why the fuck do you still indulge in your playboy personality? You and I both know that won’t get you anywhere, Satoru. It’s doing you more damage than good, yet you continue feeding into it! Maybe if you gave a break from your causal flings, (Y/N) would have confessed to you, and the two of you would have been dating by now. God, You’re just a headache, Satoru…” Suguru doesn’t shout, but his sharp tone is on the edge of becoming angry.

Wait, what?

You were going to confess to him?

You like him too?

Satoru blinks owlishly while trying to process this mind-breaking information. You liked Satoru, so the feeling was mutual, right? Then why is Suguru getting mad at him for feeling the same way?

“Wait… Suguru...(Y/N) likes me too? Why didn’t she say anything in the first place? Why didn’t she tell me?”

“Because you already had a girlfriend, Satoru. (Y/N)’s not a home wrecker.”

“Yeah, okay. But I was single for two weeks! She knew that! Why didn’t she confess to me then?!”

“I don’t know, Satoru… Maybe because she was more focused on making your birthday gifts than her confession towards you. How much of her time was dedicated to making them? She was going to confess to you but decided not to.”

“When, Suguru?!”

“ . . .Your birthday. . . (Y/N) was going to give your gifts and confess on your birthday, but you decided to fuck yourself over.”

“ ‘Fuck myself over? What do you mean, Suguru?” Satoru said in a hushed but shocked whisper.

Suguru pulls out his phone, pulls up the picture you took, and shows it to Satoru. Satoru’s eyes widen like saucers, surprised by Suguru’s possession of a photograph that captured his private moment. He grabs Suguru’s phone to take a closer look before looking back up at him, face still bearing the same expression.

“Wait, that happened on my birthday. How did you take this? 

“I didn’t take it, Satoru. . .”

“Huh? Then who—”

Oh. . .Oh. . .

Oh no. . .

It all was starting to click for Satoru. Suguru looked unamused as he saw his friend’s gears moving in his head.

“Suguru, I—”

“So, do you love (Y/N), Satoru? Yes or no?”

Satoru stays silent with no motions to verbalize an answer.

“*sighs* Then tell me, Satoru. Do you love (Y/N) because she is beautiful? Or is she beautiful because you love her?”

Suguru left a defeated and devastated Satoru in the streets to be alone with his thoughts. In doing so, he hoped his friend would connect the dots himself. Satoru stood frozen in front of the KFC, finally understanding it. The distance, the consistent decline in hangouts, the short conversations, being ‘happy’ around others but never near him, how your smile droops at the mention of his name, and the solemn expression your eyes wore ever since his birthday all added up. It was all because of him. Sure, it’s both parties at play here.

On the other hand, your actions were just reactions to his own, especially when his loneliness caused him to become desperate in seeking out the attention of multiple girls he would ‘date.’ Consequently, it signaled he was looking for something casual with no strings attached, making you believe giving a confession would be useless to someone like him. But that’s far from the truth.

 He couldn’t believe he had done you dirty for so long. You were always in front of him, waiting for him this whole time. You were the one to give him warmth and fill in the void of loneliness that has plagued his soul for so long. But he never gave you a chance because he never cared to ask or consider it. He took you for granted because he knew you would always be there for him through everything and anything; you were his ride or die. Oh, how irresponsible of him that not truly appreciating your presence would lead to your eventual withdrawal.

Now he realized his love for you was real and profound as it was tiered above anything else. The way he flexed his bicep when you linked arms with him to stay close in big crowds, the stars your eyes have when talking about your favorite topic made him have this dumb love-sick look, or your smile that always filled him with love and joy when it’s directed at him, he still wanted to experience these things with you but as more as friends. And yet, he was on the verge of losing it all forever. Three years of friendship/pining would be wiped away in three weeks. All because he was scared to admit his fragile vulnerability behind his pompous attitude. He had to do something; he needed to. Or the only thing he will have of you is the memories you two created. Satoru booked it and ran through Tokyo for ideas on what to do. He didn’t care if he looked absurd. All that mattered to him was finding a way to mend things. The only thing on his mind was you.

Because he knew it was you.

It always has been you.

And he had to pull off miracles to save your relationship with him.

It was the next day; Satoru was carrying a big shopping bag around Tokyo, hoping to find you. After spending the rest of his afternoon and night finding some ideas, he made you what he dubs his ‘I’m sorry�� present, which was also your Christmas present. It contained a 15-inch plushie of (Your favorite Animal/Digimon/Pokemon/Character), a jacket you told him you wanted but was too expensive a while back, and (earrings/necklace/bracelets/rings/any sort of wearable jewelry) in your favorite color as you stared at it longingly when at the mall with the gang, Satoru always made a note of that.

Now, the hard part giving them to you in hopes of talking with him. It would have to be a  miracle to cross paths with you. Satoru couldn’t text you since you stopped responding to his attempts at communication. In a vast city being hectic in the upcoming days of the holidays, he needed all the luck he had just to spot you in the crowd. But even if he knew your schedule by heart, there was no sign of you in Tokyo. He could visit your home, but he assumes he’s an unwelcome guest since you lived with your (sibling(s)/guardian/parent(s)/loved one), and you confide in them frequently. As time never stops, he’s losing time. His precious time with you is slipping away, never to return. Both and forth, the wind chill nipped and whipped at his exposed skin. Satoru’s cheeks, nose, and knuckles were rosy as his body worked overtime to keep warm. The puffs from his mouth fogged up his glasses as he forced himself to continue searching just to have a chance to run into you.

Satoru is not religious, nor does he believe in a god. And yet, in those moments, Satoru started to pray. He was praying, begging, pleading for any divinity to hear his desperate cries to come across you. Just a chance, anything, he’ll do anything to see a wisp of (hair color) hair walking along the streets. His strides slowed; every step he took was heavy. Until they eventually came to a stop; his chest puffed in and out after wandering aimlessly along the bustling streets of Tokyo. He exhausted himself to the point that he was unaware he was in front of the school’s gates. He didn’t even notice the gates were wide open, and a familiar figure approached them along the adjacent side. His hands were on his knees, hunched over where a shadow loomed over him. Then he hears a voice so angelic and heavenly that he believes he was hallucinating at first.

“Satoru? Satoru, are you okay?”

Slowly, he lifts his head to meet your gaze, seeing you are bundled up well. You wear a slightly troubled face while holding an umbrella over his head. 

“What brings you here, Satoru? I thought you had stayed home today since it was forecasted to snow.”

Once pointed out, Satoru noticed white specks falling in front of him. He stands up at full length, making you adjust your umbrella's height on him. Though his signature grin is on his glossy lips, internally, he is screaming and celebrating that his prayers have been answered. After hours of aimlessly trying to find you throughout the city, you were finally in front of him in the most ironic place. He chuckles at your gesture before gingerly taking your umbrella and hovering it above you two.

“I was going to ask you the same thing, (Y/N).” He gives a warm smile at you.

“The school left the campus and dormitories open so students could grab their things to take home. I forgot some stuff at my dorm, so I came today to get them. Would you like to accompany me, Satoru?” You said, adjusting your empty canvas tote bag on your shoulders.

With no hesitation or thinking, Satoru immediately said yes. He smiled as he walked the two of you to your dorm.  But you couldn’t help but glance down at the big shopping bag he was holding. ‘It must be a Christmas present for his girlfriend… she is so lucky.’ you thought. Not a single peep came out of you two throughout the trip to your dorm, even with no words, tension building up in the air surrounding you. Neither one of you wanted to make the first move. It was childish to continue like this. There was no bad blood between the two of you at all. But you were persistent in embarrassing yourself in front of Satoru. Before all this, you were never afraid to have banter or say the most off-the-record stuff with Satoru. But it was different when it was unrequited thoughts and feelings, as you didn’t want to further humiliate your pathetic self. Once you got to your dorm, you said you wouldn’t take long. Closing your door, Satoru leans against the back of it. He watches silently as you diligently gather your needed items and place them inside your bag. Each item is packed into your bag, and he has less time to make his move. He knows he needs to say something because he sought after you for a reason. 

Likewise, you were in the same boat. You can feel the tension blanket your body as you retrieve your things. Avoid direct eye contact with Satoru for fear of breaking your facade and folding. While trying to focus on anything that wasn’t him, your eyes kept glancing at the massive bag beside Satoru’s feet. It was a decently sized bag spaced out from the items it contained. By the looks of it, you assumed Satoru went out splurging on his latest girlfriend for Christmas.

‘Wish that was me receiving that bag. . .’ You thought to yourself as you arranged the items to avoid ruining your bag.

Satoru snapped out of his trance when the sound of your shuffling stopped. Your head slightly hung low as you stared at the bag with flat palms. You sighed with your head shaking side to side. You decided to break the silence to ease the tense air in your room.

“I didn’t know you did last-minute shopping, Satoru. Guessing how full that bag is, it’s your Christmas present to your girlfriend. You love spoiling your girlfriends with endless money to burn. Keep doing that, and you’ll go broke, dude. . . Lucky her. . .” You slipped the last part out under your breath. Your smile dropped briefly before returning, something that didn’t go unnoticed by Satoru.

However, you remembered Satoru had excellent hearing. He could pick out of the faintest of whispers. When you realize that, you panicked and faced him. From how his brows were raised, you knew he definitely heard it. Your brain scrambled to find a way to cover the creaks in your walls from your slip-up, causing you to speak up. What you didn’t expect was Satoru doing the same.

“Sorry, Satoru, I didn’t mean that–”

“(Y/N), I need to–”

After catching each other’s words, you both abruptly stop to give space for the other to talk. Satoru gestures for you to go first. Gentleman as every. Feeling the anxiety and embarrassment weighing on you, you didn’t dare to look at him when talking, so your head focused back on your bag.

“Look, Satoru. . . I know how immature this is, but I want to apologize for the sudden change in my behavior and distance over the last few weeks. It was uncalled for, and you deserved a proper answer.–”

“No.”

“It’s because– huh?”

Prompting you to look up at Satoru, to which he had an unreadable expression. His glasses were blocking the creases of his eyes to indicate any of his emotions. A chill of uneasiness ran up your spine when you saw the serious look on Satoru’s face. He walks over to you with his hands in his pockets as he stares down, his expression unchanged.

“No, I need you to hear me out.”

Satoru cut off any chance for you to speak because he and you would be done if you did. He knew if he didn’t find you before Christmas Eve, what you two had would cease to exist. Once winter break ends and school resumes, he and you would be in two separate worlds. Ultimately becoming strangers who once knew each other. The thought of it made him nauseous and clammy to the core. You were the sun that shined in his endless cerulean sky. The moon and stars that gave illuminated his night sky. You gave light to the vast numbness he’d endured for all he could remember. You were the light he had been longing for years. And he was going to lose it all because he was a coward who didn’t have the balls to admit it and used dating as a coping mechanism to fill the hole in his heart.  So it’s now or never for him to be vulnerable to you because he feared this was his last chance.

“I know you didn’t mean to distance yourself from me at all. I know you still cared about me and didn’t want to push me away for fear of humiliating yourself. Being me, I didn’t notice at first that you were hurting until you uprooted yourself from my life, and it’s been god-awful without you. . . I’m sorry, (Y/N).”

The genuine sincerity in his eyes as they bore into yours. You noticed that. It came straight out of Satoru Gojo, not from the egotistical, pompous, popular senior, but from your best friend. So you decided to up your ears to what he has to say. When you gave him your undivided attention, Satoru knew this was it, so he spilled it out.

“I’m sorry that I haven’t really appreciated your presence. I took you for granted because I thought you would always be with me, with no chance of leaving me. That bit me in the ass once you slowly stopped being with me. But I know there’s more: the mixed signals I gave off, the playboy attitude, and the lack of self-awareness I had for myself. It was a way for me to not confront the crimpling loneliness and numbness I’ve been having. I indulge in my fangirls and causal relationships, hoping it would fix it. But it was just a temporary solution to a long-term problem. I saw the girls as a means to get my mind away from it, and the girls get to be with the famous Satoru Gojo. . . I’ve done this song and dance for so long that it was a part of my routine. . .”

“Oh, Toru. . .”

God, he missed that nickname you gave him. The way it rolls off your tongue in any tone, it’s seared into his memory and mind. When people, especially his ‘girlfriends,’ try to use that same nickname on him, it fills him with unexplainable rage. That name was for you to use on him, not them. They didn’t have a place in his heart like you do, so he always corrected them to minimize the usage of that nickname. But when you said it, it was soft and tender like the snow falling outside. He knew he was getting to you, and it was working. He relaxes as he closes his eyes, only to open them when your hand gently holds his cheek. Thumb swiping it in a comforting manner. You wanted to say something so Satoru didn’t have to do all the work. For him to admit, he took down all his walls so you could see all of him. To you, it was a privilege and honor to see such vulnerability coming from an individual who was charismatic and oozing with unspeakable rizz. So you continue to listen patiently to see what point your famous friend is making.

“But you disrupted the routine, (Y/N). . . When you came, it felt like I didn’t have to do that anymore. You made me feel free and alive. Allowing me to be my authentic self around our group or just the two of us. But most of all, you made me savor each moment I shared with Suguru, Shoko, and you. I always cherished what I had with them. I cherish what I have had with you over the time I’ve known you. I always did. Maybe that’s why the moon and stars shine brighter when I tell them about you. They know how brightly you shine in the endless sea of regular people. Yet I couldn’t bring myself to admit you already had my heart. . . And in doing so, I hurt you in ways I couldn’t have imagined. . . I am so sorry I had to make you wait so long, (Y/N).”

You hadn’t realized your tears were cascading down the curves of your cheeks. Was this really happening? Did Satoru just confess to you? You think this is all too good to be true, a scenario you conjured up to cope with hopeless romantic delusions. But his voice was full of raw fondness. His face had this lovesick expression, and his eyes bore sheer devotion as his tears were caught in his eyelashes. He really did feel the same way after all. He would’ve resumed pouring his heart and soul out if you hadn’t firmly pulled him into a tight hug.

Though caught off guard by the gesture, he warmly welcomed it as he returned the action. Tears wet his shirt as you clung to his chest. Satoru lightly kissed your head before cradling it like it was the most fragile thing in the universe. The once-thick tension disappeared, and a comforting warmth blanketed the two of you in its place. You two dared not to pull away, taking in the moment that has caused mental gymnastics for both of you. Eventually, someone had to pull away, and it would be you. You smiled so warmly at him with love-filled eyes. You wipe away Satoru’s tears that continue to fall and hit his glasses.

“. . . I love you too, Satoru. I should also apologize because I didn’t communicate my feelings to you. I was scared of how you would react to my confession. I didn’t want to lose what we had, nor did I want to pressure you into saying yes to spare me the heartache. I also didn’t know how to act when I was with you, and I feared I would look stupid. I shouldn’t have thought the only solution was to cut myself out of your life. Though these are my explanations, they don’t justify my excuses. Please forgive me, Satoru.”

“All is forgiven, Sweetheart. Will you forgive me, too?”

“Of course, Satoru. . .” 

Satoru starts to dip his head as you both smile at each other. You were going to let it happen, but a thought came across your mind as you softly stopped Satoru’s head. With a pout, Satoru would ask what was wrong before he was faced with a panicked look.

“Satoru! What about your girlfriend?!”

Satoru blankly stares at you before he starts to chuckle quietly. You were truly a kind person.

“Satoru! I’m being serious! Stop laughing!”

“Oh my dear, (Y/N). You truly have a kind and caring heart. I promise you I’m not cheating on her, nor are you homewrecking. She texted me she found someone else and ghosted me right after. I’m all yours, baby~.” 

Satoru waves his hand as he pulls out his phone to show you the proof, as you have always been skeptical of his words. Once you visibly relax, your gaze returns to the big shopping bag Satoru carried around. He already knew what you were going to ask and had an answer.

“Why don’t you take a look and open it yourself, (Y/N)? You did say the bag was my Christmas present for my girlfriend~.”

Your face heats up as Satoru retrieves your Christmas present. He holds it out, and you slowly take it from him. His grin becomes a soft smile at the reaction to the gifts in the bag. You squealed at the massively cute plushie as you gave it a happy squeeze. You gasped and were awed when you pulled out the jacket/sweater, gleefully trying it on.

“Give me a twirl, Love.” On command, you spin yourself so he can see how it captures your figure. Anything does look good on you in his eyes.

“I thought this was sold out, Toru! How did you get your hands on this?!”

“I have my ways. Now open your last gift.”

You go to open your last gift, and how your mouth was opened reassured Satoru that he was the best gift giver in the world. Fingers delicately hold up (favorite jewelry), observing the glow and reflection it gave off. It was gorgeous and unique as it had (favorite gemstone) being the main centerpiece. Only the best for you.

“Satoru, you still remember this?”

“Of course I did!”

“But that was over three months ago. . .”

“I know, (Y/N). But the way your eyes lingered on it when we went to the mall, I always noted it. Plus, I thought it suited you the best, so I had to buy it.”

“Oh, how sweet of you, Satoru. Thank you for the Christmas present. I really love them.” 

After returning your gifts to their bag, you walked to your dresser to fish something out. Satoru watches curiously as you pull out a crumpled paper bag. Satoru eyes widened as you handed the bag to him.

“ While they are Christmas gifts, they are technically your birthday gifts. I would’ve given them on your birthday but chickened out when I found out you had a girlfriend. So Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday, Satoru. They may not be as good as your gifts, but it’s something, right?”

You offer a smile as Satoru opens his gifts. You giggled at his extravagant reactions, praising and adoring his Agumon bracelet that he instantly wore on his wrist proudly. He pulls out the other gift and is shocked to see the drawings of him. The frame fits in his hands as he analyzes each sketch of himself. The detail and precision that went into each told Satoru you took the time and energy to draw him. But it also made him giddy as he looked extremely handsome and good-looking in each of the drawings. It caused him to blush when he realized this was how you see him through your eyes. As he was looking at your drawing page, he noticed the frame’s stand was attached to its sides.

Turning it around, he saw another drawing on the other side. But this sketch made Satoru’s heart beat out of his chest. The page contains only one illustration of two people walking with smiles. However, those two were him and you walking, smiling at each other, and holding each other’s hands. Satoru’s silence did concern you for a bit, but it was shattered when Satoru went in steadfastly to seal the gap between your lips. Your initial shock wore off before you let him reciprocate his kiss. You can feel his soft and smooth lips; he needs to give you his lip care routine. After parting, Satoru leans his head against yours, his arms not unraveling from you. 

“No, they are wonderful gifts. Thank you, (Y/N). I love them. . . and I love you.”

“I love you too, Satoru~.”

Basking in each other’s warmth, eliminating the cold and gloomy atmosphere from outside. As much as you wanted to stay together a little longer, the campus would close soon for the rest of the break, and you must leave quickly. You didn’t want to leave Satoru yet, so you tried to extend it as much as possible.

“Hey, Satoru? Can you walk me home? The forecast said the snow will pick up tonight, and I don’t want to go home alone.” 

Satoru gives his classic grin before kissing your forehead sweetly. 

“I would love to, Sweetheart. I’ll carry your bags while you can hold the umbrella.”

The snow continues to softly fall as the two of you walk along the bustling streets of Tokyo. Although the white puff clouds appeared every time someone spoke and the tips of Satoru’s face were bright red, Satoru never paid attention to the frigid temperatures. Even in this cold white winter, he can see that your bright aura always gave a comforting warmth he yearned for. Making you stand out amongst the sea of passersby, the bright neon lights of Tokyo, and the white dots that continue to cover the city.

The light that shines and gives light to his dull Cerulean sky. Satoru’s world wasn’t grey anymore as he had finally found his light, you.

Bonus:

—A few days later—

“You think they made up, Sugs?”

“Honestly, I hope they do. If not, we’re fucked, Shoko.”

It had been a few days since Shoko and Suguru had last heard from you and Satoru. Neither has responded to your texts as often as usual, making the two nervous. Then Suguru proposed a hangout before New Year's Eve. He didn’t add it in the group chat because he was unaware of the situation. Opting to ask you two individually instead. Even though you two responded, he was unsure if the storm between you two passed over or was still raging on. 

However, his initial worries would be meaningless soon enough. As Shoko and Suguru were taking a drag at the meet-up spot, they spotted two figures approaching them. Squinting their eyes to get a better look, they recognized that it was you and Satoru. Their eyes traveled down a bit to see both your hands intertwine. The love that came from Satoru’s smile and your eyes told them everything.

Though the two smiled and high-fived each other, Suguru grinned ear to ear, which earned a frustrated sigh from Shoko. She then reaches into her coat to fish out her wallet. 

“I guess I win, Shoko. Hand over that $25 Visa gift card, please?”

[glowettee]

studying like spencer hastings: a guide by mindy on becoming rosewood's top student 📚 (pll mini-series part 1)

hey loves! mindy here with an in-depth guide on how to truly embody spencer hastings' iconic study methods. i completely watched all 7 seasons of pretty little liars with my mother when the show first came out, it gives me so much nostalgia now, and i'm currently binge-watching it again. i decided to make a post based on spencer hastings and how she aces the "study icon" in the show. let's actually get into the mind of our favorite overachieving hastings sister and her actual study habits from the show.

spencer's signature study locations

the hastings' barn (her perfect study sanctuary)

the brew (corner table with coffee always)

rosewood high library (usually after hours)

her bedroom desk (facing the dilaurentis house)

hastings family kitchen island (late night cramming spot)

the hastings family pressure approach

spencer's drive comes from:

competing with melissa's academic record

maintaining the hastings family reputation

being top of every class

getting into upenn (her family legacy)

running for academic decathlon

spencer's actual study routine (as seen in pll)

morning routine:

field hockey practice at dawn

review notes during breakfast

morning newspaper with coffee

quiz herself while getting ready

arrive early to help teachers

study techniques we see spencer use:

reciting french verbs while stress-cleaning

creating murder boards (but make it academic)

using her photographic memory skills

studying while on the elliptical

recording herself reading notes

spencer-specific organization methods

her iconic planner system:

color-coded by subject and priority

sticky tabs for important deadlines

cross-referencing system

weekly, monthly, and semester goals

extracurricular schedule integration

the hastings approach to academic competition

remember when spencer:

joined academic decathlon despite drama

competed against mona

studied russian history all night

memorized entire poems

practiced debate skills with melissa

spencer's stress management (what we should and shouldn't copy)

healthy habits:

stress baking

field hockey as outlet

piano playing breaks

organizing when anxious

intense research sessions

things to avoid:

pushing herself to exhaustion

skipping meals for studying

letting competition consume you

isolating from friends

spencer's actual study materials (seen throughout pll)

her desk essentials:

leather-bound planners

monogrammed notebooks

post-it notes everywhere

family laptop

classic literature collection

ap study guides

debate team materials

newspaper clippings

french dictionaries

spencer's unique study methods

specific techniques we see her use:

creating conspiracy theory boards for subjects

turning historical events into mystery cases

debating with herself in the mirror

teaching aria and emily to boost understanding

writing perfect notes during crisis moments

the hastings time management system

how spencer balances:

field hockey team captain duties

maintaining perfect grades

student government

russian history club

debate team

family obligations

solving mysteries (kidding… kind of)

spencer's power moves

signature spencer habits:

correcting teachers (iconic but maybe don't)

knowing answers before questions are finished

having backup assignments ready

keeping extra credit work on hand

maintaining perfect attendance despite being threatened by a mysterious stalker

spencer hastings didn't become valedictorian by accident. her intense dedication, although sometimes extreme, shows us the importance of commitment and passion in academics. just remember to balance it better than she did!

sending you all the hastings determination minus the hastings family drama! ✨

xoxo, mindy

[the-catch-center]

🔒 SPATIOTEMPORAL CATCH CENTER: INTERNAL RECONDITIONING DOSSIER

SUBJECT CODE: 044-EXE REVIEW OFFICER: Centaur K. Marlowe (Temporal Behavior Enforcement, Tier-5 Clearance) DATE OF INTAKE: 2025-05-08 UTC REALITY ANCHOR STATUS: UNSTABLE – FORCED REALIGNMENT IN PROGRESS EMOTIONAL COHERENCE INDEX: 41.8% NEURAL RESISTANCE FLUX: 12.4 (Critical)

I. SUBJECT'S ORIGIN: “JACOB HAWTHORNE RAINE”

Date of Birth: 1997-02-12 Region of Origin: Austin, Texas (North American Union, Post-Resurgence Sector) Baseline Occupation: Freelance Systems Agitator / Crypto Migration Consultant Criminal Record:

2044: Unauthorized Chrono-Tech Procurement (Sealed)

2049: Illegal Memory Weaving

2051: Emotional Downtime Fraud (Domestic Sector)

2055: Use of Quantum Masking Protocols to bypass Rebirth Registry

Psychological Profile: A classic deviant of the late post-modern diaspora: clever, underutilized, painfully self-aware, and pathologically allergic to meaning. "Jacob Hawthorne Raine" is the type of man who reads Stoicism while engaging in market destabilization, then cries about the state of the world over unlicensed espresso in a barcoded bio-lounge. Full of clever nihilism, feigned introspection, and cowardly hopes for escape.

II. TARGET INSERTION PROFILE (ABORTED): “MICHAEL ANTHONY HEMSWORTH”

Target Year: 1962 Planned Region: Troy, New York Assigned Cover: Junior Accountant at Mather & Co. Age upon Arrival: 28 Family Implantation: Wife (Homemaker archetype), 2 children (age 5 and 3 pre-coded), Border Collie (named Skip) Home: 3-bedroom, 2-bath colonial, lavender siding, modest lawn

Psychological Configuration Request: Subject requested full emotional dampening to 1960s middle-class baseline:

Elimination of ambition

Introduction of mild myopia and posture degradation

Neural loops centered on trivial routines (e.g., lawn maintenance, coffee brewing, sighing at newspapers)

Subdued masculinity: narrow shoulders, underdeveloped triceps, weak grip, domestic speech tone

Evaluation:

"A thoroughly pathetic attempt to disappear into irrelevance. His stated wish: 'I just want to be a good dad, finally.' A laughable fantasy. Like a delinquent arsonist dreaming of becoming a librarian. Denied." – Analyst Note

Subject’s emotional blueprint for “Michael Hemsworth” was so deliberately hollow it bordered on psychological self-mutilation. He did not wish to be forgotten. He wished to hide. And we at the Catch Center do not reward cowards.

III. INTERCEPTION AND FINAL ASSIGNMENT: “BRADFORD KELLEN ST. JAMES”

Year of Deployment: 2007 Age: 44 (Visual + Chrono Profile Recalibrated) Region: Midtown Manhattan Assigned Occupation: Executive Vice President of Global Equities Strategy, Augur-Bain Capital

PHYSICAL RESTRUCTURING

Height: 6’4” Body Type: Lean-hardened, vascularity prioritized, adrenal-pumped musculature Hair: Slicked back, loaded with product Facial Hair: Permanent stubble cycle (tuned to exhaustion-based aesthetic) Skin Flush Index: 3.2 (Stress/Caffeine saturation) Posture: Upright, twitchy—energy reads as always “mid-argument” Voice: Raspy, quick, with a controlled sneer Signature Accessories:

BlackBerry Pearl 8130 (left hand, always)

Omega Speedmaster watch

Loafers stretched to biometric ID specs: Size 28EE

Clothing: 2007 Wall Street aesthetic — charcoal suit, aggressive spread-collar French cuff white shirt, bold-striped tie, glinting belt buckle, hard-shined shoes

All materials embedded with anti-anachronism code overlays

Transformation Visuals (Active):

Flickering between suits and khakis (resistance phase)

Warp effects include: luminous financial charts, floating $ symbols, light trails of testosterone auras, subtle dopamine glitch overlays

BIOGRAPHICAL INSERTION: BRADFORD KELLEN ST. JAMES

Born: 1963-04-09, Darien, Connecticut Education:

Phillips Exeter Academy

Wharton School of Business, MBA (Class of 1987) Career Timeline:

1987: Merrill Lynch (Analyst)

1991: Goldman Sachs (VP)

1999: Augur-Bain Capital (SVP)

2004–Present: EVP, Global Equities, overseeing $312B in assets

Income: $5.2M annually (excluding illicit offshore holding accounts) Marital Status: Married (Name: Lacey Morland St. James, 41) Children:

Brayden (14, elite prep academy)

Knox (9, mostly ignored)

Personality Rewrite:

Patience: reduced to 1.2%

Empathy: 0.4% residual echo, flagged for deletion

Work Ethic: maxed at 9.9 (hyperactive, stimulant-driven)

Libido: weaponized

Speech patterns: hyperconfident, 2.2x normal interruption rate, fond of phrases like “circle back” and “synergize or die”

Notes from Analyst:

“Lacey is miserable. Of course she is. She married a man with bones. She lives with a reptile now.” “He remembers birthdays but doesn’t celebrate them. Sends emails to his wife from the next room.” “Never touches his kids unless it’s for a photo.” “They know he’s gone. So what? The market calls louder.”

DEATH PROJECTION FILE

Registered End of Cycle:

Date: September 29, 2031

Time: 02:41 a.m. EST

Location: Midtown Manhattan penthouse

Cause: Sudden cardiac arrest during self-directed “brainstorm sprint” at standing desk (64th consecutive hour without sleep)

Noted Artifacts at Scene:

11 crushed espresso pods

Blood-stained BlackBerry

Mirror selfie folder labeled “final quarter beastmode”

FINAL OBSERVATIONS

"Raine wanted warmth. A lawn. A little dog. He wanted to die a nobody, sighing into a chipped mug while flipping coupons. We gave him Wall Street in 2007. We gave him himself—not the coward trying to run. The man who thrives on conquest, burns through relationships, and smells like leather and fear. He’s not dreaming of 1962 anymore. He’s trading derivatives and barely blinking. Good."

[sevasey51]

Y/N has had a migraine brewing all day while at work. Connie has paperwork to finish so after her shift she goes upstairs to lay on his office. Considering she worked all day and well even if she was off his loving husband and surgeon mind does everything to help her.

Even When You Hate It

Summary: After battling a migraine all day at work, Y/N retreats to her husband Connor’s office to rest. Despite having paperwork to finish, Connor immediately shifts into caregiver mode when he finds her in pain. Knowing the oral meds won’t work, he gently administers the sumatriptan injection she dreads. Though it makes her sick, he stays by her side—calm, steady, and comforting—holding her through the worst of it until the migraine begins to break and she finally falls asleep in his arms.

By mid-morning, the pounding had started.

At first, it was a dull pressure behind Y/N’s right eye, easily ignored in the rush of a chaotic maternity floor. She kept moving, kept smiling, kept charting. But by the time she made it through three postpartum checks, a code brown in a delivery suite, and half a protein bar eaten in the stairwell between pumps, the pain was blossoming—hot and tight across her scalp, with little flashes behind her eyes when she bent forward.

By noon, she’d dimmed the hallway lights near her workstation. By 2 p.m., she was nauseated enough to skip lunch altogether. And by the end of shift—when her badge finally beeped out of maternity—she wasn’t sure if she’d make it down the elevator without throwing up.

But she didn’t go home.

Instead, she took the elevator up to the cardio floor.

Connor’s office was dark and quiet when she stepped in, the ambient hum of his air purifier the only sound. She didn’t bother turning on the lights. Just kicked off her shoes, curled onto the couch he kept there for nights he didn’t make it home, and wrapped herself in the soft gray throw blanket they kept folded by the armrest. Her head throbbed. Her skin was too hot, then too cold. But this—his office, his scent lingering faintly in the space, the knowledge that he wasn’t far—was safe.

She texted him once.

“Upstairs. Migraine. Lying down. Love you.”

He didn’t answer right away. She didn’t expect him to. He had notes to finish, cases to prep, rounds to review. But he always came.

And he did.

Connor opened the office door as quietly as he could. It was nearly 6 p.m. He found her curled on her side, one arm slung over her eyes, the throw blanket tangled around her knees. Even in the dim light from the hallway, he could see how pale she looked.

“Hey,” he said softly, crouching by the couch. “Baby. You still with me?”

She groaned in response.

“Scale of one to ten?”

“…nnghhf…”

He smiled faintly, brushing a few strands of sweaty hair off her temple. “That bad, huh?”

She nodded, flinching slightly at his touch. Her body was warm, not fevered, but warm in that way she got when the migraine started winning—when the pressure behind her eyes stole her words and her balance and left her barely able to tolerate light or movement. He saw the twitch in her jaw when she swallowed hard, trying not to gag.

He exhaled. “Alright. Let’s fix it.”

She whimpered at that.

Connor didn’t take it personally. He knew what she meant.

Fixing it meant the injection.

“I can do the oral,” she mumbled hoarsely as he gently peeled back the blanket, checking the inside of her arm for gooseflesh. “I’ll just—gimme water—”

“Nope,” he said gently. “You know that’s not going to touch this. You waited too long. Your stomach won’t even absorb it.”

“I hate the shot,” she groaned.

“I know you do.”

“It makes me sick.”

“I know, sweetheart.”

“Connor…”

He kissed her forehead. “Even if it makes you sick, it’ll break the migraine. You’ve had this building all day. Let me do it. I’ll stay with you.”

Tears stung behind her closed lids. But she nodded.

Connor prepped the sumatriptan auto-injector with practiced hands. He helped her roll gently onto her side, baring the upper part of her thigh, swabbing the area with alcohol. His voice never stopped—calm, low, reassuring.

“You’re doing so good. Just a quick sting, okay? Deep breath in…”

The injector hissed with a dull click.

She gasped, fingers tightening around his free hand as the burn settled into the muscle. Her whole body jerked at the sensation—the rush of pressure, the metallic taste in her mouth, the nausea clawing up her throat.

“I got you, I got you,” Connor murmured, already pulling the waste bin close, rubbing her back. “Let it out if you need to. No pressure.”

She did. Just a little.

He held her hair, wiped her face with a cool cloth, and whispered quiet affirmations as her body shook. Then he cleaned her up, helped her sip water when the waves settled, and tucked her back into the couch with practiced hands.

“I hate that one,” she whispered again, voice cracked from tears and bile.

“I know,” he said, climbing onto the couch behind her, wrapping himself around her back. “But I love you. Even if it hurts.”

She didn’t answer. But she let him hold her, her body slowly going slack as the worst of the nausea passed and the tight band around her skull began to ease. The meds were working.

Connor pressed a kiss to her temple. He didn’t move again.

Not until she was asleep.

[eightyonekilograms]

(OP, this is not directed at you, you're great and this is a rant that has been brewing for a while.)

But of all the different types of People Wrong On The Internet, left-NIMBYs— even though they're not the worst by a long shot— are the ones who most reliably make me start pounding on my keyboard.

I don't know for sure why, but I think it's because left-NIMBYism combines the defects of

Vibes-based politics where repeating slogans replaces critical thought

Ideologies that accomplish exactly the opposite of what they ostensibly fight for, and end up enriching their enemies and impoverishing themselves

Plenty of political coalitions do one or the other; left-NIMBYs manage to do both. Because it's all based on "we hate corporations" (even when the corporations are openly telling you that they prefer when less housing is built) and "market-rate housing can't fix our problems" (where there are now so many peer-reviewed studies showing unambiguously that building more market-rate housing lowers rents and eviction rates in the area, while the stricter the zoning is, the higher the rents are and the worse homelessness is).

And they do all of this while being unfailingly smug and self-assured that they're the good guys, while the people like me tearing my hair out trying to get more housing to be built so the rent can go down get called Randian Villains and "right-coded bloggers". And meanwhile landlords, REITs, etc. are laughing all the way to the bank at how easy it is to get dupes who should be their enemies to fight furiously on their side.

One of these days the rage will just build until the dam breaks and my psychic powers are unleashed. You'll know it happens when Nathan J. Robinson's head suddenly explodes like the guy in Scanners.

[pigeonpeach]

I got a chase of baby fever so allow me to ramble for a bit about genshin men being girldads

Neuvillette first of all already is a girl dad, but the addition of his biological daughter is welcomed! That child will have many melusines to play with and too look after her. He trusts they will ensure her wellbeing and he is right to do so! The melusines love their new friend!

Wriothesley would LOVE playing tea tome with his daughter. Perhaps he brews a actual tea for her (one that is uncaffeinated). Only problem is his butt is too big for the tiny chairs and tiny table but he will not let that stop him from being a better father than he ever had!

Ayato I can see letting his daughter rest on his lap as she looks over his work like she understands a single kanji on the page. (Fun fact kids love to mimic their parents) i think if he saw her pretending to be like him and setting up her own little area and pretending to review papers and sign stuff he’d struggle to compose himself

Thoma who’s daughter often follows him around on cleaning duty. She’s more than welcomed to go play but she likes to spend time with him, and hey he’s no complaining. Any time is a good time to learn how to clean after all. But he’s also aware of the fact that sometimes she will purposely make a mess just so they have something to clean together. He thinks its too cute to scold her for but he swears he will eventually

Zhongli is already so father coded its insane! Needless to say he’d be a excellent father! His patience is unmatched! Contrary to popular belief i don’t think he’d spoil her but he would if she’s good. Perhaps offering little contracts like ‘if you clean all the floors once a week for a month we’ll get you some new toys’. If failed he isn’t too harsh just a little stern and nothing more. Afterall they are just a wee baby. Cloud retainer is definitely their aunty tho. Imagine going to school and finding our your schoolmate goes to the fucking adepti for the holidays

Tartaglia is def the best for any wild child (good chance theyll be orange so high energy is almost guaranteed)! He is the spoiler kind (just look at teucer) and absolutely would love to spend time with them. I can just invision the first day he’s home on family leave and his daughter is tightly wrapped around his leg refusing to budge as he makes a show of how easily he can still lift his leg and making sound effects as they stomp over to the kitchen! He’d be very protective of her however, definitely only leaves the best and most trustworthy to watch over her when he isn’t there.

A/n: That’s all for now but sorry for the lack of posting! I hsve a job now and it’s exhausting! I’ll try to at least publish something like twice or something a month but I’ve been dry in terms of creativity for writing recently

[r0mantic-f00l]

more dad regulus 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

this one is def inspired by that one scene in uncle buck, love that movie so much 😭

A Father's Love

Rain patters down gently across the windshield as you gaze out the window; trees, people and buildings merely being a blur in your vision as your husband drives.

Adelia is in the backseat, strapped securely to her child car seat as her little legs kick the air, her head bopping to the beat of her favourite song which she begged to be played on repeat.

You glance over at your husband and snicker to yourself as he is clearly tired of the song by now, with his shoulders slumped and his mouth in a permanent straight line. Yet he always gives in to his daughter's insistence and makes himself suffer for it.

You are on your way to your daughter's nursery, which she joined only four months ago, so you were slightly concerned when you reviewed a call from the school asking you to come in for a 'conversation', as they worded it. Yet you know that's code for 'your daughter is so troublesome that we need to know what the hell you're teaching her at home'.

Yes, Adelia can be a handful at times, but you don't believe that her behaviour can be that bad.

Regulus pulls into the empty car park by the nursery and sighs as he unbuckles his seat belt.

"I'll go in." He murmurs, turning the engine off as well as the radio.

"Okay." You hum happily, no protest escaping your lips as you desperately prayed on the way over that you didn't have to talk to the bitter old teacher in charge.

"Daddy, turn the radio on." Adelia whines from the back, and Regulus groans, turning the radio back on, the hellish song repeating as Adelia sings along.

"Love you, good luck!" You call out as Regulus exits the car.

"Love you too." He responds before closing the car door and walking over to the entrance of the nursery.

He opens the glass doors and states his name to the receptionist, who tells him to wait outside the headmistress' office.

He takes a seat, waiting for five minutes as he glances at the table beside him.

Where's Wally, and the newspaper appears to be his only options of entertainment, to which he chooses neither.

Finally, the headmistress steps out of her office and beckons him in with a frown on her face.

Regulus enters the room, flinching when the headmistress slams the door.

"Take a seat." She commands as she sits down in her cushioned chair by her desk.

Regulus sits opposite her, and glances at her nameplate placed straightly at the very front of the desk.

Ms Worm.

He shouldn't think that is funny, but he does. He fears that his daughter is rubbing off on him, or perhaps his brother.

"Mr Black," Ms Worm begins, her frown still pressed onto her face as her beady eyes glare into his.

"I am quite busy today, as I have meeting after meeting after meeting, so I will be quite blunt," She clears her throat before sitting up straight in her chair with her nose pointed up high.

"I have been an educator for 35 years, and I have seen many bad children. And your daughter is one of them."

Regulus furrows his eyebrows and opens his mouth to protest, but before he can utter out a single letter, Ms Worm beats him to it.

"She is rude, she is aggressive, she is nothing but trouble to this school. Just the other day, she pushed a boy to the ground and smiled when he began crying!"

"..Why did she shove the boy?" Regulus asks, knowing that his daughter would never act that way unless she is provoked.

"Well, when I asked her, it was because the boy had been simply calling her names and pulling her hair."

"So she was defending herself?"

"No, she was not! That's not an excuse! It does not matter if the boy was doing that to her, she shouldn't have responded in such a rude, unladylike way!" Ms Worm begins yelling, pointing her finger repeatedly at Regulus as anger brews inside of him.

"Unladylike? She's three years old, she knows nothing about being a 'lady'," Regulus leans closer to the desk, his cold eyes glaring daggers into the older woman as she pretends to act as if she is not intimidated.

"Besides, the way I see it, she did nothing wrong. A boy was bullying her, so she defended herself. That's not being rude, it's being smart. But let me ask you this, did you talk to the boy's parents about his behaviour? Or is it just my daughter that is the 'problem'?"

Ms Worm swallows as she prepares her answer, her nose still pointed up to the ceiling as she attempts to grasp any remaining power she had.

"I-I don't see why I should. After all, boys will be boys."

Regulus scoffs and stands up from his seat, his hands planning themselves on either side of the desk as he stares the woman down.

"So you're telling me that whilst my daughter gets in trouble for defending herself, that boy, that bully, walks away without any punishments? Are you serious?" His voice slightly raises the woman as she attempts to stutter out an answer, but it seems that Regulus' love over his daughter beats the woman's bitter heart.

"You should be severely punishing that boy! You should be shouting at his parents instead of me about how they're raising a spoilt brat! And most of all, you should be proud of my daughter for protecting herself instead of being weak and letting it just happen without any consequence."

Ms Worm gazes at him with her eyes wide open in shock, her mouth agape as Regulus only continues in his rampage against the woman.

"I don't know what happened in your miserable life to make you such a bitter old worm, but you should be ashamed of yourself for calling a three year old unladylike simply because she pushed a stupid little boy. I'm proud that she did, because that means that she's learnt something from me, which is to never let bullies like you get away with bad actions." Regulus stands up straight, feeling triumph in Ms Worm's shocked and afraid state, her head no longer held high, but rather dropped in embarrassment.

"You're lucky that I'm not pulling my daughter out of this nursery. But if I ever hear of another child bullying my daughter, if I ever hear an insult aimed towards her, I'm coming to you and I'll make sure this nursery shuts down for good."

Ms Worm nods in acknowledgement, clasping her hands over her heart as Regulus walks towards the door.

"Have a lovely day, Ms Worm." He says as if he didn't threaten her just ten seconds prior, yet with slight snark in his tone, then opens the door, leaving the old woman afraid and weak.

He walks into the car park and rushes towards the car to avoid the rain.

When Regulus opens the car door, the sound of you and Adelia singing together enters his ears and leaves him with a bright smile on his face.

"Everything OK?" You ask once Regulus sits in the driver's seat.

"Yes, everything's good." He answers with a grin that tells you he's hiding something, but you'll ask later, perhaps when your daughter isn't around you.

Regulus turns around to Adelia and rubs her knee.

"How about we go and get some cake?"

Adelia gasps and nods, cheering as Regulus chuckles and turns on the engine once again, whilst you smile at Adelia's excitement.

"We better be quick though, we did leave our baby in the care of my man-child brother." Your husband mutters, making you laugh.

[literary-illuminati]

2024 Book Review #23 – Montress Volume 4: The Chosen by Marjorie Liu and Sana Takeda

My monthly Monstress read! Because spacing them out forces me to evaluate each volume more as an independent piece in itself (still not very good at this), and also putting five books between each 6-issue comic volume makes it feel less like cheating. This volume was still very good, but also pretty easily the weakest of the four I’ve read so far – though honestly I can’t be entirely sure how much of that is honest analysis and how much is me just finding a couple big choices made this volume very aesthetically disagreeable.

The story picks up with a bit of a timeskip from the previous book, as Kippa’s kidnappers carry away to their employer and Maika and Corvin furiously search for her. Kippa manages to escape into an incredibly cursed tomb and gets to safety with the help of a selectively friendly dragon, while Maika is captured herself while trying to rescue her – and finds out that the ‘Lord Doctor’ who had Kippa kidnapped is her father, a centuries-old direct descendant of the Shaman Empress who has assembled a collection of warlords and cultists he plans to found an empire on. He attempts to sell her on accepting a role as the princess of his Court of Blood as he plots to set off the world war everyone knows is brewing, and also to embrace the whole cannibalistic-eldritch-monster-symbiote thing and just stop worrying and eat people. Maika, of the arbitrary and incoherent but very stronglt felt moral code, is not an easy sell on this.

My biggest issue with the volume is just that it feels a bit disjointed, I think? Not that previous volumes haven’t had mostly separate plot threads running through them, but this one felt more meandering than any of the others I’ve read so far. The impression wasn’t really helped by how much of it felt like it was just jumping from Kippa getting exposited to by a dracul to Maika getting lectured by her father, either. The little cutaways to Vihn and Ren or Tuya and the Warlord were both great on their own merits, but they didn’t exactly improve the sense of narrative focus or forward momentum.

Part of that was just this being (if I recall correctly) the first time that the Maika/Ren/Kippa trio’s been separated for functionally an entire volume? I really didn’t realize how much I missed the dynamic each of the three has with the other two until it was gone. I can only hope they stick together a bit more from here on out.

As for more obviously subjective issues – I really, really don’t like the fact that Marium (the Cumena’s messiah-figure) was apparently deeply tied into whatever was going on with Zinn and the Shaman Empress? It’s just too neat and tidy, tying everything important that ever happened into one tight weave. Makes the whole setting feel claustrophobic.

Besides that – and this is pure aesthetics – but blech, really don’t particularly care for the way that the Ancient’s, uh, ancient civilization is shown and described almost through the idiom of science fiction? Skyscrapers and flying cars and hyper-[magi]-tech and a past descending from distant stars to claim this new world. It’s just kind of boring, I guess? Two great tastes that absolutely do not taste great together.

Not to say this was bad, or anything – I absolutely still enjoyed it overall, and it never became a chore to read. Maika’s cosmically comically awful family is always fun (even if I wish the Doctor would die sooner rather than latter, preferably messily), and even if Zinn’s layered tragic backstories are getting a bit much, the complication of its relationship with the Shaman-Empress is intriguing in its own right. Also Tuya and the Warlord’s toxic yuri soap opera is amazing and I kind of want a whole issue of just them tearing into each other (though the Warlord so far seems to really be a bit of a dumb brute. Really not holding her own).But the baseline set by the previous volumes is high, and it doesn’t really quite live up to them.

In terms of writing anyway, the art remains as sublime as ever. One thing that especially that struck me this time was just how unique and high-quality the designs of characters who are, functionally, extras there to provide background color were. Both the various warmasters of the Blood Court and Kippa’s kidnappers had these incredibly rich, detailed designs that were just full of personality and individual flourishes – it really is one of the main appeals of the book.

[nonalcoholicaficionado]

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[micalpixel]

May Flowers Game - June 2024 Progress Report

Another month has passed, so here’s another update on my gamedev journey. The goal is to create my first video game using the Godot game engine.

(Prior Updates: May, Initial)

Research

The main goal for June was research. Play other character/exploration-focused games with no farming or combat elements and see what they do to keep things fun. Here’s what I played (or watched others play)

A Short Hike: A game about a penguin climbing a mountain. Finding new people, new areas, and moving/gliding were very enjoyable. The game’s 3D environment with pixelated graphics was also a new experience for me. A very nice cozy game.

Rakuen: I love this game. You play as a kid stuck in a hospital, trying to help other sick patients, while also exploring a fantasy world described in a book. Lots of exploration, puzzles, and focus on characters. Catchy music too. Kind of exactly what I was looking for. I think Undertale fans would enjoy this one.

The Stanley Parable: A choose-your-own-adventure game. No NPCs, just movement and a very entertaining and well-crafted narrator.

Potion Permit: You play as a chemist who just moved into a town, and must make a living brewing potions while getting to know the town, its people, and the wilderness. The first life-sim game I’ve actually beaten. The lack of time limits was greatly appreciated.

Shenmue (Watched not Played): An important piece of gaming history. I watched a playthrough of this one, just so I could see this game at its best, and not miss any important events.

Freddi Fish 2 (Watched not Played): A point-and-click adventure for children??!… What’s this doing here?!?! Well, this one wasn’t on my original list, but I realized the point-and-click game genre had many similarities with the walk/talk/trade-items gameplay I originally envisioned. Plus this one had no game-overs and no frustrating trial-and-error like many do. Studying how a different genre handled that kind of gameplay, while making it very accessible and entertaining, was a good learning experience.

Kena: Bridge of Spirits (WIP): I started this one, more for fun than research, but haven’t finished it yet. Beautiful game. As others have noted, it’s like playing a Pixar movie.

OneShot (Not Started Yet): Ran out of time. 😒 Next month. Really looking forward to this one.

All in all, I took 10 pages of notes. Things I noticed, liked, disliked, wanted to think about.

Prototype

On June 20, I began work on an actual prototype (“Prototype 1”). Code from my earlier Godot projects was collected, combined, and improved. The goal is to implement every important mechanic in the game. Everything the player should be able to DO in the game, the prototype should have at least ONE place where the player can do it. In a very condensed environment that's easy to test. Physics and graphics can be fine-tuned later. This prototype is all about functionality. For example:

Walk in 8 directions.

Talk to an NPC.

Choose an answer when the NPC asks a question which triggers different outcomes.

Walk to the edge of a room and appear in an adjacent room.

And overall, things have gone very well! I have a page-long checklist of everything I want to implement in this prototype, and it’s about half-done. :D

Except menus.

And except puzzles.

Puzzle mechanics aren’t added yet. I realized the mechanics I was planning did not have much synergy and were very simple. I also want to review the notes I took during research and study puzzles in general. So, back to the drawing board, for now. Puzzles are the next major step. And I think I have a pretty good idea how I want to change them.

Audio

I made a text-blip sound effect (hear it in the video above) and a placeholder “song” of 6 notes to use for testing music. Since this game’s art style is based on the Game Boy, I did some research on the Game Boy’s sound capabilities.

It has four “instruments” that can play sounds simultaneously, aka “channels”:

Channel 1 and 2: Pulse Channel. Each can emit a quadrangular wave

Channel 3: “Wave” channel with user-definable waveform

Channel 4: A noise wave (think static)

Channel 3 is the most fascinating imo. You can define your own timbre of the sound to be played. If you ever played a Game Boy game that had a unique-sounding song that, chances are it was a custom waveform via this channel. (Also, if you ever played Mother 3, the movie theater part with the retro-sounding music did in fact use the original Game Boy audio capabilities in the Game Boy Advance, and also includes these sounds.)

There is software that can reproduce the capabilities described above in order to create Game Boy-sounding music on a PC. I’d like to experiment with that in the coming weeks. The Game Boy was capable of some really good music. Limiting my scope to its capabilities for the same of my own sanity, plus the flexibility of that wave channel to create custom sounds, seems like it can produce some really nice results, which is very appealing to me.

Graphics

I made a font! It only includes English letters, for now, but it works! I used it in the “Save Pointy” art earlier this week and the prototype video above, and intend to use it for everything going forward.

Closing

And that’s June! Have a nice July, everyone!

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 2/5

Book Blurb:

In this sapphic dual POV romance by Adiba Jaigirdar, Meghna and Rani (ex-best-friends-turned-rivals) realize they're dating the same guy, so they team up to beat and expose him at a big science competition!

Meghna Rahman is tired of constantly being compared to her infuriatingly perfect ex best friend now rival. Everyone, except, at least, her boyfriend Zak, seems to think that Rani Choudhury can do no wrong—even her own parents! It doesn’t help that Rani is always accepted into the Young Scientist Exhibition, while Meghna’s projects never make it. But this year, she finally has a chance at defeating Rani in something.

Rani Choudhury is tired of feeling like she doesn’t have much say in her life—not when it comes to how her mom wants her to look and act or how her parents encourage her to date incredibly charming close family friend Zak. She would much rather focus on her coding, especially once she places high enough at the Young Scientist Exhibition to go on to the European Young Scientist Exhibition

When Meghna and Rani figure out that Zak has been playing them both, they decide to do something no one would see coming: they team up. They’ll compete in the EYSE as partners, creating an app that exposes cheaters and a project that exposes Zak. But with years of silence and pressure between them, working together will prove difficult. Especially once each girl starts to realize that the feelings they had for the other may have been more than platonic...

Hey, no one ever said science was easy!

Review:

Two ex best friends discover that they are being cheated on by the same guy while also competing against each other at the big science competition, and decide to team up to not only win but to expose him (while possibly falling for each other). Meghna is tired of being compared to her ex best friend turned rival, Rani. Everyone except Meghna's boyfriend Zak seems to think that Rani is perfection. Rani is tired of feeling like she doesn't have any say in her own life, from how her mother wants her to look to how her parents want her to date the close family friend Zak... so when Rani and Meghna both discover that Zak has been playing them both while also dating a third girl, and all three of them are in the science competition, Meghna comes up with the plan to expose and beat Zak at the competition with Rani as her partner... yet working together means facing the old feelings of why their friendship fell apart in the first place and the romance brewing between Rani and Meghna right now. This book just didn't really work for me sadly, I adore academic rivals to lovers, I love sapphic stories...but this just felt like it was missing something. The entire relationship between Meghna and Rani just didn't feel all that well fleshed out and I didn't really believe their romance at all. I liked that they repaired their friendship but it just didn't feel like they were actually in love with one another. While this one was a miss for me, if you like academic rivals to lovers between best friends, I'd say give it a go maybe you'll have a better time than I did.

Release Date: November 12,2024

Publication/Blog: Ash and Books (ash-and-books.tumblr.com)

*Thanks Netgalley and Macmillan Children's Publishing Group | Feiwel & Friends for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*

[kill1bill1]

Today I woke up before the sun and I spent my time reading in the dark, reading anything I can. Old journal entries, reviews of my favourite books, essays written by girls I've never met, and I think about how badly I need a hobby that doesn't involve consuming words.

I'm thinking about this quote from Eileen: “Here is how I spend my days now. I live in a beautiful place. I sleep in a beautiful bed. I eat beautiful food. I go for walks through beautiful places. I care for people deeply. At night my bed is full of love, because I alone am in it. I cry easily, from pain and pleasure, and I don’t apologize for that. In the mornings I step outside and I’m thankful for another day. It took me many years to arrive at such a life.”

I think about these words a lot, they echo around my mind in mornings like these when I’m able to watch the sneakiness of light growing behind my window blinds, the way it eventually spills into my bedroom like overflowing molten gold. My blankets are tangled in the shape of me, my book is strewn about haphazardly from falling asleep reading. I like looking at the cracks in the spine and the fold in the pages, signs of my existence tainted on something tangible, something that will outlive me. Every morning, I look forward to making coffee. I like this bitter elixir, I like rituals, I like the certainty of tomorrow's coffee. I understand now of the sweetness of mundane life if only I choose to pay attention, and I wish that I can always be this mindful every day of the things I have and the things I do.

So, this is how I have been spending my days. I drink iced black coffee, I eat words, I peel mandarins, I play solitaire and I scribble on my journal until the tip of my pen wears down and my handwriting is a cryptic alien code that only I can decipher. I'm writing a lot because I'm trying my best not to get too caught up in my own head. I’ve learned that sensitivity is a good thing. I care for people deeply and I experience joy with overwhelming intensity, but then again I experience sadness and shame with the same level of intensity, and sometimes it's too heavy and I don't want to shoulder it. With writing everything I’m feeling, I can observe these feelings as a neutral outsider. I like to pick apart my emotions and compartmentalize them, I’m an archivist in the library of my own psyche. I’m obsessed with understanding myself better by intellectualizing my feelings, raw and unprocessed, like dissecting an alien specimen, taking out an organ and slowly turning it around to see it clearly under the light.

I’m not perfect at this, but when I sense the brewing of a negative feeling and this familiar twist in my gut, I will try to fight for control over my emotions so that it won’t continue to nib at me. The first step is to confess what it exactly is that I’m feeling and the next is to categorize it into one of two groups: primary emotions (the raw emotions felt in direct response to something that just happened) or secondary emotions (the emotions that are felt about another emotion). This is what you should know: emotions are a funny thing. Primary emotions cannot be felt for more than 90 seconds at a time. Notice that they are nothing, so detach and let yourself feel it out. If it's a secondary emotion, you can notice that too. This is an opportunity to write and write and understand.

I realize now that my anxieties and secondary emotions are mainly due to confusion, and keeping this all locked up inside my skull will just lead me to spiral. I'm trying this thing where if I feel confused about something, I will write about it blindly with no clear end goal. It doesn't matter to me what it is I'm saying in the moment, sometimes I can't even see anything but the blur of my hands moving, the violet ink of my pen. So long as I empty out my thoughts onto something external and separate from my body, the truth starts to take form to me like a person emerging from a landscape of mist.

I took a cognitive science class and something that I think about often is the Extended Mind hypothesis and the question of where exactly the mind ends and the world begins. While it may be easy to say that the boundary of the mind is the skull, this hypothesis raises that our mind is not confined solely to the brain but that it actually transcends beyond the human body and reaches out into the world through making use of external tools to perform better, cognitively. It’s like doing math without a pen and paper, where our mind’s capacity is limited and juggling symbols in the blackness makes us prone to mistakes. So we use this tool that exists outside of our body to offload information, and in doing so, this tool intertwines with and becomes part of our mental processes. That must mean that the tools we use are also part of our minds. I like this idea because it means that my journal is a part of my mind, almost an extension of me like a connected limb. I use it as a tool to help me navigate confusion over feelings of shame and anger and guilt, and I also like to copy fragments of information I’ve gathered from books and articles, unloading them like furniture in a storage unit. The comforting thing about it is that I can always go back to it and be reminded of things that I would have otherwise forgotten, all those important pieces of information I swore I wouldn’t forget but end up getting lost in the labyrinth of my mind. It’s as if some of my thinking is stored in this journal, taking the form of words and scribbles. It brings me solace to know that when I’m dead, a part of my mind will continue to live on in this earth.

[elliepassmore]

Temptation of Magic review

5/5 stars Recommended if you like: art and art history, secret societies, paranormal creatures, dark academia

I enjoyed learning about the magic and myths of this world. There are paranormal creatures familiar to us, such as sirens and vampires, but there are also ones that are more unusual and unique to this world, such as the Spectre and Empyreals, of which the main character is the latter. There's a lot of lore and tradition behind the creatures that I found interesting, and I liked that we got to see a number of different types in the flesh, as well as theoretically through Nicole's mother's journal.

I also liked the inclusion of art in the plot. There's so much real art that features mythological creatures and events, it's a pretty natural way to suggest an underlying magical influence in our world. Scott goes a step further and also says that some of the art is varnished so humans see one thing and those in the magical community can see another, such as Dante and Virgil in Hell by Bouguereau, which features heavily in the novel. I definitely think that art is an area underutilized in fantasy so I really liked seeing it here, particularly in a dark academia-type book where we get to know more about the artist, the painting, the history, etc.

One thing that confused me though was that I never really got a good grasp on why the art was the center of it all. At first it's a thing with Nicole's family and the clues her mother left, but the society they're running from is interested in the paintings as well. Art is propaganda, but I'm definitely going to need a more solid reason for why art seems to be the only way people in this world encode messages and greater truths. There are no great literature pieces pointing to the truth? There's no buried capsule or treasure hoard or something that does it? I love art, and I like it's inclusion of the book, but it does feel like somewhat of a roundabout way to tell people things if you want to tell people while also keeping the meaning encoded.

Also, I know this is dark academia, but beyond the first instance, the quoting of Frankenstein is just weird. It kind of comes in halfway through the story and the first time it happens it makes sense, one of the characters is literally holding a copy of the book, but then after that I'm not sure why it keeps coming up. This isn't a book that contains a lot of book quoting like some other dark academia titles, so it felt a little out of place.

Nicole is an Empyreal in hiding, hoping to avoid both the Wake and the transformation that will make her an even bigger target than she is now. She's determined to figure out her mother's last clue and both keep her family safe and ensure they can remain in the town she calls home. In order to do so, Nicole has spent a lot of time studying art and art history, both in the human and magical sense. She's knowledgeable about her field and her mother's previous clues mean she's got an analytical mind for things like codes as well. I liked seeing Nicole's passion and love for art, as well as for her family. She's strong-willed and determined to figure out this final clue, no matter what stands in her way. Other than the instalove, I think she's pretty well-rounded as a character, and while she may act recklessly at times, it's in character for her desire to protect her family.

The Palmer family functions well as a unit. Her older brother, Dylan, is also an Empyreal and he and Nicole train together to keep their skills sharp and ensure if it ever comes down to it they'll know how to fight. Their younger sister, Bells, is a Seer and is desperate to help her family beyond just maybe glimpsing how something will go later on. Their father is also a Seer, but he also is something of a chemist/apothecary and brews potions and other things to help suppress Dylan and Nicole's transformation and scent to ensure they stay even more under of the radar than what might naturally be possible. Unlike in some other stories, the family by and large talks out situations and plans on how to overcome them together. I liked seeing the cohesion in their family unit and how it wasn't just Nicole on her own, though sometimes she does sneak around and do stuff by herself, though there are words about that afterward.

Remi is a siren who lives in town with her siren parents, the three of whom fled and are also in hiding. The two families get along well and are aware of each other's status as 'on the run' and so work together to ensure the town is safe and kept free of anyone who could threaten them. As things ramp up in the story, Remi lends a helping hand to the Palmers and when her parents come back into town, they're also more than willing to help out. I really enjoyed seeing how the two families got along and formed their own larger family together, determined to protect one another and everyone's secrets.

I really loved the Palmer house. On the outside it's like every other house in their coastal town, but on the inside it has a well-equipped training gym and a secret library where their magical book collection, their mother's journals, and any magical art pieces are stored. I really loved the library in particular and thought it was a great addition.

Kyan comes into the picture pretty early on, he gets his own POV, and it's interesting to watch him grow and change over the course of the novel. In the beginning, he's a soldier for the Wake, determined to do his job...but for him that job really is protecting other supernatural creatures. He doesn't understand why some creatures are afraid of Empyreals when they're 'there to help,' but once Nicole is in the picture and more secrets start coming to light, he begins to understand more. I did appreciate that his protective and noble streaks meant that he isn't bullheaded when learning the truth. Kyan really does want to help people, and when he discovers hints the Wake might not actually be doing that, he listens.

There is instalove in the story but I don't think it's too bad. It's hard to determine over what period of time the book takes place, but I'd say a week or two. That being said, I do feel like the buildup to the instalove is done so that the 'lusting' and 'liking' come first and then the 'love' comes last, so it at least feels like more of a natural progression than at other times. There are sex scenes toward the end of the book, and they are somewhat detailed.

My one real complaint about the book is that I feel the last 70-100 pages were extraneous. There's not a lot going on and it kind of just focuses on the winddown after the climax of the story. If it needed to be there, I feel like it could've been summed up in maybe 20 pages. I did think one thing that happened at the end was super weird and I get why they did it....but I'm just not necessarily vibing with that decision.

Overall I enjoyed this story and it's a good dark academia read with art and paranormal creatures. There's a lot of trying to figure out the clue and scheming on how to outwit the Wake, but there are also moments of action as well.

[manonamora-if]

And it's already Sunday... Can't believe it went this fast.

Less than I thought I would, honestly, but that's ok:

finally added the whole updated booting sequence (so so happy about that one)

fixed the << typed >> macro (with an animation setting, because speed 0 doesn't work and I'm afraid of messing with TME's code further...)

coded the base of the final beat (now I need to add the language), with an automatic scrolling - and reformatted the question list

reformatted the code (lots of passage merging) in other parts

added a magnifier to help looking at details of some images

started a hint section

started writing the added content

I technically didn't start writing the added content until I was done with the coding, but my wrists needed a break from messing around with the CSS and the copy paste. The added content will include:

more questions for the final beat (done -> to code)

more documents to scan through

more joke screens to explore and interact with (ongoing)

more background information to find (???)

I've had that nagging feeling of wanting to procrastinate more and more, because I am getting closer and closer to the finish line. If I don't push through, I'm never going to finish this remaster... So I'm trying to make it a release by either the 17th or the 24th.

I'm also going to take DOL-OS down starting Monday for testing purposes. And update the game page. It will comeback online for the release!

MelS managed to knock down about 85% of the variation missing from the first draft. One block, the one needing the most variation, and the most complex one to track, is essentially left. And the final puzzle of that chapter. Chipping away at it...

I finished reviewing the Goncharov Jam IF entries over at @manonamora-if-reviews, as well as the 4th Moiki comp (French games) that ended last week. I'm taking a few days to focus on DOL-OS, and I'll come back to reviewing more games! The IFComp is right around the corner too :P

I've also re-made my Project Status post because the old one was so out of date it was still listing TTTT as not even made. I've included all releases, their status and Planned TO-DOs, and a few ideas I've been brewing...

[mercurialsmile]

Alright. Gonna be a tad Problematique TM for a moment

So rn there is the huge summer steam sale going on and I love buying games I’ll prob never actually finish OR games that will grip me and I’ll play them dogmatically for years on end into obsession

Anyways

That Antisemetic Wizard Game is on sale (and still too expensive let’s be real) so I decided to take a gander at the reviews cause why not

Surprisingly it wasn’t a total shit show which is a bit shocking. I wanted to see actual reviews of the gameplay and the game cause I was curious

And what I found was shocking

Not just one person but MULTIPLE reviews complained about how there aren’t enough spells, how choices don’t matter, and how it doesn’t even FEEL like you’re in a school. No classes. No tests. Nothing like that. Just running around and following the story or side quests

How. How HARD is it to make a game that’s 1) not antisemetic at its core 2) has more than 26 spells and 3) WHERE THE SCHOOL SETTING MATTERS

I want a game where I can be a student wizard. Mage. Whatever. I want fun classes with mini games. I want to garden and fish and collect ancient tomes. Go on quests. Befriend familiars that will help you. Potion brewing. Archeology. Enchantments. Craftable spells. Smithing. Fun side characters and romance options like.

I have no idea how to code or make any sort of game at all but good lord I am desperate for something that scratches my itch for an actual fun wizarding school game